In the many roles that we play in life, there is always a time when we have to put others before ourselves. Extend help with the purpose of making a positive impact in someone’s life.
As admirable as your intentions may be, can you honestly say that you are doing more good than harm?
For many years in the spiritual community, there existed a paradigm of the wounded healer. What does this mean?
“I’ve carried wounds, I’ve experienced trauma – and I have powered through them – so, now I can help others.” A wounded healer believes that they are in a position to help others simply because they went through it, experienced it themselves, and battled through to the other side.
However, this is something that I do not agree with.
Being a wounded healer, simply means that you have experienced challenges and potentially healed some of the wounds linked to these difficulties but how truly healed are you? Most “Wounded Healers” still carry within themselves the core wound of seeking validation, recognition and eventually power through being of service to others.
They are still operating from a distorted feminine (seeking validation) or masculine (control and unhealthy power) core wound.
The dangerous side of the feminine distorted spectrum can lead to burnout. Feeling compelled to be at the service of everyone will drain you of all your energy, leaving you nothing for yourself. Giving from an empty cup is nothing but an expression of unhealthy patterns of having to rescue others for the sake of your own validation and worth.
On the extreme side of the distorted masculine spectrum – and one that I’ve seen various times in the wellbeing and spiritual industry – wounded healers help others because it gives them power over people and feeds their insecure ego Self.
Wounded healers help others, primarily because it fills a gap within them. It fills the void that is left by unresolved traumas and patterns that they still need to break and work on.
In order to help others and contribute to the greater good, one must be a Healed Healer – one that has a strong sense of self, puts themselves first, and operates from a healthy power dynamic.
The paradigm of the wounded healer is vintage and simply not the way to achieve your transformed Self.
In order to help others, you must first help yourself – be a Healed Healer.
This means you are able to set strong boundaries, you are free from your destructive patterns, and you have healed your wounds. You have reached a place where you understand that you need to fill your own cup first and have a healthy use of power.
Do you recognise yourself in these distorted feminine or masculine energies?
Do you feel like you are trying to pour from an empty cup?
Do you have a healthy relationship with power?
BOOK A CALL and let’s sit down and identify ways that we can help you break these patterns and, in turn, help more people.